What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
