go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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