Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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