I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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