He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
