The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize