He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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