i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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