so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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