I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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