we have officially lost it.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
