If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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