It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
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