Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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