If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize