When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
