so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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