I accidentally burped into my bong.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
