Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
