...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
