Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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