I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
