ADVERTISEMENT

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...

  Fav 12 1894 1100

  share tweet
  

• (518): View more from New York

  I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.

  Fav 39 5950 1408

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (785): View more from Kansas

  Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?

  Fav 5 3683 918

  share tweet
  

• (661): View more from California

  May God have mercy on my new vibrator.

  Fav 98 8787 1334

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.

  Fav 26 18262 1720

  share tweet
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages

  Fav 23 1681 4747

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.

  Fav 6 3197 1344

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.

  Fav 4 3119 910

  share tweet
  

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."

  Fav 5 1424 1963

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (931): View more from Tennessee

  his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood

  Fav 20 4331 1425

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.

  Fav 9 1582 912

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (770): View more from Georgia

  I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.

  Fav 1 1334 701

  share tweet
  

• (308): View more from Nebraska

  The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.

  Fav 5 828 1204

  share tweet
  

• (480): View more from Arizona

  I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.

  Fav 4 775 1140

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (801): View more from Utah

  For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.

  Fav 2 150 95

  share tweet
  

Randomize