Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah

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(650): Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah http://tfl.nu/pdwe

Replies (2) Good night (1558) Bad night (616)
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(248): View more from Michigan

i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine

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(248): i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine http://tfl.nu/gbjn

Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (492)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.

(919): View more from North Carolina

my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.

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(919): um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign. (1-919): hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred. (919): my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted. http://tfl.nu/05eg

Replies (15) Good night (696) Bad night (2814)
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(703): View more from Virginia

oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again

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(703): oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again http://tfl.nu/dw4b

Replies (20) Good night (3746) Bad night (1133)
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(718): View more from New York

I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.

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(718): I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary. http://tfl.nu/e3xl

Replies (155) Good night (8091) Bad night (8407)
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(404): View more from Georgia

All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.

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(404): All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time. http://tfl.nu/nzqv

Replies (6) Good night (2823) Bad night (991)
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(315): View more from New York

hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.

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(315): hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time. http://tfl.nu/7nlf

Replies (10) Good night (3044) Bad night (890)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.

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(662): I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs. http://tfl.nu/zjd4

Replies (5) Good night (2022) Bad night (902)
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(714): View more from California

I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?

(949): View more from California

Midgetier?

(714): View more from California

Smaller, yet meaner.

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(714): I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic? (949): Midgetier? (714): Smaller, yet meaner. http://tfl.nu/nr7w

Replies (12) Good night (3926) Bad night (751)
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(415): View more from California

just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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(415): just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid. http://tfl.nu/grub

Replies (9) Good night (2620) Bad night (507)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"

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(304): He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to" http://tfl.nu/krok

Replies (4) Good night (1457) Bad night (507)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out

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(608): She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out http://tfl.nu/4oi1

Replies (6) Good night (453) Bad night (873)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.

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(503): Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go. http://tfl.nu/c4rz

Replies (3) Good night (834) Bad night (374)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.

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(+44): By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder. http://tfl.nu/khml

Replies (4) Good night (520) Bad night (668)
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(915): View more from Texas

She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?

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(915): She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex? http://tfl.nu/yio0

Replies (1) Good night (618) Bad night (215)

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