Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.

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  (905): You had a beer at 10:30 this morning? (1-905): Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol. http://tfl.nu/apvz
  Replies (30) Good night (3967) Bad night (772)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.

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  (216): We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me. http://tfl.nu/rmif
  Replies (15) Good night (2708) Bad night (783)
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  (310): View more from California

  She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"

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  (310): She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane" http://tfl.nu/g45q
  Replies (7) Good night (2250) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.

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  (603): i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm. http://tfl.nu/ifvp
  Replies (121) Good night (906) Bad night (4777)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus

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  (970): Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus http://tfl.nu/rl2v
  Replies (38) Good night (12954) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore

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  (906): Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore http://tfl.nu/jxvu
  Replies (17) Good night (2481) Bad night (6455)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.

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  (573): I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn. http://tfl.nu/8enu
  Replies (13) Good night (948) Bad night (4148)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

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  (678): Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead, http://tfl.nu/tjky
  Replies (11) Good night (4626) Bad night (1282)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?

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  (917): Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her? http://tfl.nu/rn89
  Replies (17) Good night (7325) Bad night (1079)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.

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  (321): I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one. http://tfl.nu/vil5
  Replies (15) Good night (6084) Bad night (1532)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.

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  (210): If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings. http://tfl.nu/8q1l
  Replies (9) Good night (4391) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.

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  (717): He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it. http://tfl.nu/0zar
  Replies (11) Good night (2846) Bad night (1244)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.

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  (916): Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened. http://tfl.nu/94yj
  Replies (4) Good night (1178) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.

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  (651): Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year. http://tfl.nu/7b82
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.

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  (519): She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick. http://tfl.nu/g67o
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (238)

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