Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice