Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
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i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
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We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.