Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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