I like to think it a success when the cops are called
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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