I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
