ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
