yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut