try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.