No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
