i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
