i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize