i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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