You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize