honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
