Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
