margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
