We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If that was your dad, he is hot
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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