Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
why didn't you poke me back
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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