I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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