Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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