oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
