So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
