Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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