All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize