so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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