so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I love black thongs
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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