A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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