next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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