I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
