Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
