One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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