Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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