I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
