i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
