I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
