i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
